Question de jour:

Is ambition Godly?

Dear God,

I feel like I am doing nothing with my life. Please advise me as to what I should be doing. Thank you.

ME

Because I Love You

Every tear I cried,
I cried for you.

Every drop of blood I shed,
I shed for you.

Because I love you.

Do the next thing.

From Elizabeth Elliot:

From an old English parsonage down by the sea
There came in the twilight a message to me;
Its quaint Saxon legend, deeply engraven,
Hath, it seems to me, teaching from Heaven.
And on through the doors the quiet words ring
Like a low inspiration: “DOE THE NEXTE THYNGE.”

Many a questioning, many a fear,
Many a doubt, hath its quieting here.
Moment by moment, let down from Heaven,
Time, opportunity, and guidance are given.
Fear not tomorrows, child of the King,
Thrust them with Jesus, doe the nexte thynge.

Do it immediately, do it with prayer;
Do it reliantly, casting all care;
Do it with reverence, tracing His hand
Who placed it before thee with earnest command.
Stayed on Omnipotence, safe ‘neath His wing,
Leave all results, doe the nexte thynge

Looking for Jesus, ever serener,
Working or suffering, be thy demeanor;
In His dear presence, the rest of His calm,
The light of His countenance be thy psalm,
Strong in His faithfulness, praise and sing.
Then, as He beckons thee, doe the nexte thynge.

--Anonymous

In His Time.....

God will redeem everything.

And it will be beautiful again.

WTF

Sometimes you just feel like asking:

"What the f*** God?"

Currently my reasoning for this question are a lack of direction in my life (typical). Although it's not because there have been no opportunities, but it seems that they have all been getting shot down for one reason or another. Some are scheduling conflicts, but some are just unnecessary conflicts that are completely out of my control. And it makes me ask that question.

I'm not asking in an "I'm angry at God" or "I'm upset at God" but more like a bewildered wide eyed "what in the world just happened" kind of way. True, I'm a bit upset at God, probably a bit angry, I mean who doesn't get like that when things they want to see happen don't?

But I've learned far too many times that God's way is better, and that when doors open and close, its all because of him and not because of me. And I came back home clearly knowing that something was in store for me here and not back in New York. I am back clearly knowing and confident in God's plan, no questions asked.

And so I ask that question rhetorically, knowing that another closed door means more and more answers, more and more possibilities, and that with each dropped opportunity I'm getting a bit closer to the one God actually wants for me.

So while its frustrating to feel shut out and disappointed by lost opportunities, excitement builds knowing that sometime in the future God's going to bless me with some amazing opportunity.

And then I can go, "What the f*** God" because it will be that much more awesome. =)

The Selective Gospel

Today I realized that I believe in the Selective Gospel.

This is not good.

I'm pretty sure this not an actual term, but I'm christening it so.

Definition: The Selective Gospel is the belief of one individual that only a select few individuals are allowed to be a part of/accepted into/believe in, the actual biblical Gospel found in Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. The Selective Gospel is based on the foundation that certain individuals are not worthy of entering the kingdom of God due to their personality or past. However these selections are mostly based on their interactions with the aforementioned one individual.

The Selective Gospel is a horrible thing I adhere to. I'd like to say that I am quite tolerant when it comes to people, that I don't judge you right away, and that even when I get to know you that I maintain an infinite amount of graceful padding for any potential hurt or pain you will cause me. Unfortunately none of that is so. I tend to judge people quickly (whether acting on it or not) and that padding is more like a block of wood that hurts when you land on it.

I state freely that the Gospel is for anyone, anywhere, anytime. But more specifically that tends to mean that the Gospel is only for people I tend to like. Remember those group of kids in school who where the social misfits, often outwardly awkward or quiet, insecure and shy? Well my Selective Gospel says that anyone of those people are welcome to believe. But the popular kids with their designer bags and clothes that partied on the weekends? Nope the Gospel is not for them.

Okay so you might think that I'm just a disgruntled misfit who couldn't hang out with the "cool" kids and therefore think this way. Maybe in part you're true. But more so is that I realize that because I view these people as overly ostentatious, self-centered, rich kids I find that they have no place, be it not right to believe in the Gospel.

This is one of my worst sins.

To project my individual feelings of these people onto the image of God himself is like playing God...I don't have to tell you why that's wrong. What I see when looking at them is exactly the way God looked at me, before Christ came. Overly ostentatious, self-centered, rich kids who think they have it all together.

It's ironic too because I know that behind those masks those kids were always the ones with the most insecurities, the most issues in life, the most complications. They just acted that way because they were broken...just like me.

The funny thing is that by believing the Selective Gospel I'm essentially admitting and acknowledging that I am unable to be saved. That I am as annoying and obnoxious as those kids I used to not like in high school. What a humbling thought that is...

The truth is that the true Gospel specifically states that the Selective Gospel is a lie. That true grace does not discriminate nor does it give up on or judge. It is not based on qualifications from previous interactions or current situations. It's all-inclusive.