Sometimes you just feel like asking:
"What the f*** God?"
Currently my reasoning for this question are a lack of direction in my life (typical). Although it's not because there have been no opportunities, but it seems that they have all been getting shot down for one reason or another. Some are scheduling conflicts, but some are just unnecessary conflicts that are completely out of my control. And it makes me ask that question.
I'm not asking in an "I'm angry at God" or "I'm upset at God" but more like a bewildered wide eyed "what in the world just happened" kind of way. True, I'm a bit upset at God, probably a bit angry, I mean who doesn't get like that when things they want to see happen don't?
But I've learned far too many times that God's way is better, and that when doors open and close, its all because of him and not because of me. And I came back home clearly knowing that something was in store for me here and not back in New York. I am back clearly knowing and confident in God's plan, no questions asked.
And so I ask that question rhetorically, knowing that another closed door means more and more answers, more and more possibilities, and that with each dropped opportunity I'm getting a bit closer to the one God actually wants for me.
So while its frustrating to feel shut out and disappointed by lost opportunities, excitement builds knowing that sometime in the future God's going to bless me with some amazing opportunity.
And then I can go, "What the f*** God" because it will be that much more awesome. =)
