Without Christ

I would not be a very nice person.

More to come.

A Letter to the Brothers

Dear Brothers,

A word of encouragement for you.

In 1 John 2:12-14 it is written:

"¹²I write to you, dear children, because your sins have been forgiven on account of his name.

¹³ I write to you, fathers, because you have known him who is from the beginning. I write to you, young men, because you have overcome the evil one. I write to you, dear children, because you have known the Father.

¹⁴ I write to you, fathers, because you have known him who is from the beginning. I write to you, young men, because you are strong, and the word of God lives in you, and you have overcome the evil one.

This is God's message to you, a message of strength, power, and victory.

The passage points out 3 groups of people: children, fathers, and young men. But only the young men are called to fight. Why? Because God knows that you are the heart and fire in the midst of an ongoing battle. Children need protection, fathers can provide wisdom and direction, but only you, my brothers are fit for battle. God has made you to be carriers of steady hearts and minds, with courage that demonstrates the capacity to fight and lead others to victory.

As a woman I'm not saying that we cannot do the same. However there is a restless spirit in men that searches for those moments when they can become victorious in one way or another.

Therefore do not be afraid to share your strength with others because it encourages us to fight.

This week I was witness to a powerful display of strength. A brother, humbly bowing his head in prayer, asking God to lead him, and surrendering to the throne of God.

Our culture tells us that to be a man, one must show no sign of weakness (physically, emotionally, even spiritually). That to be a man you must be overly confident in your abilities, outspoken, and rebellious even.

That's not true.

The ability to acknowledge your weakness is what makes you strong. Especially in a world that is so afraid of being considered weak. God's strength is what makes you strong.

Now strength is shown in many different forms. Brothers who have a natural affinity towards people display strength in forming encouraging relationships with others. Brothers who love to read and write help us interpret scripture. Brothers who love music help us worship and praise God. Brothers who can mobilize people help to support the work that God is doing in the world.

And then there are those brothers with strengths that often get overlooked. Like brothers who are the last ones to leave because they stack the chairs and wash the dishes. Brothers that wait to be seated last in order to make sure that everyone else has a seat at the table. Brothers who are always the first to help without even being asked. Brothers who never speak in conversation but in doing so let us know that we matter, because someone actually cares enough to listen.

Every type of strength I mentioned is a characteristic of Jesus. Whatever strength God has given to you, use it fully. You always have something to offer.

As a sister I am encouraged by you (which I don't say nearly enough) and the strengths God has given you.

So thanks. =)

Watermelons

Have you ever noticed the beauty of a watermelon?

My mom was cutting one up into chunks today and as the rinds piled up in the sink I took a look and was struck by the colors. Vibrant green rinds with dark green stripes. Pinkish red interior.

The coloring is awesome.

As I stood there a bit mesmerized, I thought about how watermelons, just like any other fruit is God's creation. Then I thought about pineapples, and just how colorful they are. Spiky green tops with a patterned rind. Bright sunshiny yellow on the inside. How beautiful.

We sometimes take for granted the Genesis story of the 3rd day:

"And God said, Let the water under the sky be gathered to one place, and let dry ground appear. And it was so.

¹⁰ God called the dry ground land, and the gathered waters he called seas. And God saw that it was good.

¹¹ Then God said, Let the land produce vegetation: seed-bearing plants and trees on the land that bear fruit with seed in it, according to their various kinds. And it was so.

¹² The land produced vegetation: plants bearing seed according to their kinds and trees bearing fruit with seed in it according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good.

¹³ And there was evening, and there was morning— the third day."

Genesis 1:9-13

Just two simple verses describe every single plant that God created on that day. Every single type of vegetation. Every single type of fruit. I think those two verses don't do God justice. Just looking at the watermelon and looking at the artistry that went into that...it kind of takes my breath away. So much care and creation into that one fruit. God not only made sure it taste delicious, but also made it look beautiful.

What if God had decided to make all fruits black, white, and gray. If the world we lived in was colorless, if nature was not the lush greenery we know it to be. Sure it would still be nice to look at, but would it have as much impact and display so much beauty? I think not.

Two verses describe the creation of the watermelon, showing that it was a deliberate act by God to create fruit to be beautiful. He chose fruit to have the purpose of not only being nutritious and delicious, but pleasing to the eye. Looking at the watermelon, each rind has those dark green stripes that look like a brush stroke. Like a painter, God crafted each fruit to be a demonstration of his creative genius.

The crazy thing is that God was so careful about making a fruit. I mean a fruit is a fruit. You eat it and its gone. You leave it out too long and it gets moldy. It has no mind, no emotion, no spirit.

Unlike us.

Watermelons, as beautiful as they are are nothing compared to us. We are God's masterpiece. Every plant he made was just an addition, to us, his true masterpiece. He created fruit to please US, to bring US joy, to feed OUR hungry tummies and to show US his beauty. Because it's not like God needs fruit to feed his tummy. He created it to fill our need.

1) This first shows that God really KNOWS our needs and wants to fill them. He KNOWS the dreams in our hearts, the hopes that we have, and he wants to help us reach them. Sometimes we think we have to pray and tell him what we want/think we need, or that we need to talk to him in order for him to understand us and where we are.

But he KNOWS us. There is no need to tell him because he KNOWS. Now that doesn't mean he doesn't want us to talk to him and tell him. But it does mean that even when we are unsure, or worried, or confused, God is not. When we are not confident in ourselves, in despair, and downhearted, God is not.

2) Second this shows that God has made us each to be so beautiful and unique.

Think about how many fruits there are and how different each one looks. God spent time crafting each one of them to be different and special, knowing that all of us would have one we call our favorite, one we like to look at etc. It was all purposely done.

And that's how he made us...except with even MORE thought and consideration. We are each made with different rinds, vibrant coloring, soft and hard interiors, small and large sizes, sweet and tart tastes. None of this is by accident. We are not by accident.

The world tells us to fit into a certain mold, that we need to be a certain way to succeed, that we are wrong for wanting to be how God made us. But none of that is true. None of that.

God lovingly created fruit for us to eat, but even more lovingly created us.

How beautiful.

A Funny Thing That Happened On The Way To the Forum

For those that don't know....is a musical.

Musicals tell life stories (okay maybe not completely TRUE stories but stories nonetheless).

The funny thing that happens on MY way to the forum is that my song begins to reprise itself...even though I thought I had finished it in Act 1.

That reprise never seems to end.

When you let things go, God gives them back to you. When you finally make a hard decision God provides an easier solution. When you think one chapter of your life is finished he starts to rewrite it.

A Funny Thing That Is.

Today I was reminded that discipline, true discipline leads to freedom. Example: When you want to learn to improvise on the piano, you must first learn all the chords and scales so that you have a base from which to pool from. Only after learning all that can you have the freedom to improvise and do whatever you want,

I need to be disciplined. Not just because I WANT freedom, but because I know it's the only way to really get to the heart of God and align mine more with His.

And that's what I want.

I'm realizing that so many of the things I worry about, the things that distract my mind and my heart, could easily be solved by being disciplined. Focusing my mind on what God wants, so that worry and distraction disappears and I am left with God's plan for my life.

Oh how easy that sounds in theory.

I need a balance of heart, mind and (Holy) Spirit because 1) I think God intended for them to all work together, and 2) Because one of them normally ends up winning (and it's not the Spirit).

The "funny thing" that happens is the story you tell when you get to the forum. But I'm hoping that when I finally do get to the forum, I'll need less "funny things" to happen for me to get the message.

Ordinary Day

As I was listening to my Itunes, Vanessa Carlton's "Ordinary Day" came on. It's interestingly similar to another story I know well.

"Just a day, just an ordinary day
Just tryin' to get by
Just a boy, just an ordinary boy
But he was looking to the sky

And as he asked if I would come along
I started to realize
That every day he finds just what he's looking for
Like a shooting star he shines

And he said, "Take my hand
Live while you can
Don't you see your dreams lie right
In the palm of your hand?"

And as he spoke, he spoke ordinary words
Although they did not feel, no
For I felt what I had not felt before
And you'd swear those words couldn't heal that

And as I looked up into those eyes
His vision borrows mine
And I know he's no stranger
For I feel I've held him for all of time

And he said, "Take my hand
Live while you can
Don't you see your dreams right
In the palm of your hand"

Please come with me
See what I see
Touch the stars for time will not flee
Time will not flee, can't you see?

Just a dream, just an ordinary dream
As I wake in bed
And the boy, that ordinary boy
Or was it all in my head?

Didn't he ask if I would come along?
It all seemed so real
But as I looked to the door
I saw that boy standing there with a deal

And he said, "Take my hand
Live while you can
Don't you see your dreams lie right
In the palm of your hand"
In the palm of your hand, in the palm of your hand

Just a day, just an ordinary day
Just tryin to get by
Just a boy, just an ordinary boy
But he was looking to the sky"

Just as much as Jesus was the Son of God, he was also simply a young boy...looking to the stars, knowing that Heaven was there and it was his job to point people in that direction.

Can you imagine, being a little girl, friend of Jesus, running around with him, playing with him, laughing with him, looking up into the stars? It gives us a different picture of Jesus.

He was that little boy...looking to the sky.

Walking on Water

Life changes in ways you don't expect.....I feel like thats the theme of this year (or past months rather).

Which way is up, which way is down...hmm...not so sure anymore.

I have to say that the only directions I can focus on is the cross. And I know if I just follow that I'll be ok.

I have a feeling its going to be a huge learning curve for me in this next year (and by year I mean next August).

I hope to have achieved new things by then. Make new friends, introduce some people to God, and grown stronger so that I can walk on water.

It's a delicate balance, walking on water. The splish splash as droplets skip and jump from the flick of my foot as it tentatively taps the water.

Sometimes I'm fond of too much description.

I don't want to swim anymore. I want to walk. Glide on ice without sinking into the abyss.

Perspectives

Watching the things I do does not mean I agree with it.
Living the way I do does not mean I like it.
Agree to disagree means there is never one straight answer.
Is there?

You see violence, I see a story needing to be told.
Does that make me bad?

Does it mean my heart doesn't break when I see things like that?
Not at all.

So why do I feel the need to justify myself?

I see things through a different set of lenses.
Does that mean either of us is wrong?

It's all about perspective, and mine keeps changing...on and on and on.

Professor Real World

People always say that life is never what you expect it to be. Yet for some reason we go through life expecting it to meet our expectations. Then when it doesn't we wonder what happened, why our life sucks, and why it can't be how we envisioned it to be.

Except that we've known all along this would happen.

With that said, I'm once again learning this same lesson. Plans don't work out, people surprise you, and often you surprise yourself. Funny that currently all three seem to compile into a huge stack of homework labeled "Things You Learn After College 101" by Professor Real World.

You're probably assuming that all of these lessons are difficult, trying, and depressing. In part you're probably right. Homework is never fun.

But I think I've been pleasantly surprised by the lessons that ARE interesting, creative, and challenging. It makes you question what you know, who you know, and proves that you might be wrong...in a good way.

I'm kind of hoping I'm wrong about a lot more things because that means my learning curve will continue to grow. And that's kind of exciting.

Expecting my life to be unexpected.

The Search for the Missing Piece

I feel like I'm missing something. There's a piece of the puzzle that got stuck under the couch or got sucked up by the vacuum, or just simply never made it into the box with the rest of the puzzle pieces.

I'd really like to find that piece.

I feel like I've been trying, I think I've checked the map for alternative routes, and I'm pretty sure I tried drawing a line from A to B.

But none of that seems to be showing me the picture. So that leads me to think I'm missing a piece. I just have to figure out what that piece is and where that leads me.

It would be a lot easier if God just handed me the piece. But I guess that's like telling a kid that adding 2 and 2 together equals 4. They would never have to learn how to do it for themselves.

*Sigh* And isn't that always the case? We must learn it for ourselves otherwise the lesson is lost.

Life is like one big school lesson. Some kids get it faster, and some kids take a longer time to learn. Ideally going at your own pace would be fine....except that in this world you apparently get left behind to fend for yourself if you don't learn fast enough.

But I guess greatness can happen at your own pace. I don't know who said that or if anyone has said that, but I feel like it can be true.

Actually I know who said that, it was the turtle who beat the hare.

I guess it's a good thing I like turtles, because it looks like I might be in this race for a long time.

Job Hunting

All I'd like to do in life,
Is help people,
Love people,
And share God's love with people.

Is that too much to ask?

I can't remember the last time I sat and let my Itunes run, waiting to see what little gems of sound would play.

Music, how it awakens the soul.

Question de jour:

Is ambition Godly?

Dear God,

I feel like I am doing nothing with my life. Please advise me as to what I should be doing. Thank you.

ME

Because I Love You

Every tear I cried,
I cried for you.

Every drop of blood I shed,
I shed for you.

Because I love you.

Do the next thing.

From Elizabeth Elliot:

From an old English parsonage down by the sea
There came in the twilight a message to me;
Its quaint Saxon legend, deeply engraven,
Hath, it seems to me, teaching from Heaven.
And on through the doors the quiet words ring
Like a low inspiration: “DOE THE NEXTE THYNGE.”

Many a questioning, many a fear,
Many a doubt, hath its quieting here.
Moment by moment, let down from Heaven,
Time, opportunity, and guidance are given.
Fear not tomorrows, child of the King,
Thrust them with Jesus, doe the nexte thynge.

Do it immediately, do it with prayer;
Do it reliantly, casting all care;
Do it with reverence, tracing His hand
Who placed it before thee with earnest command.
Stayed on Omnipotence, safe ‘neath His wing,
Leave all results, doe the nexte thynge

Looking for Jesus, ever serener,
Working or suffering, be thy demeanor;
In His dear presence, the rest of His calm,
The light of His countenance be thy psalm,
Strong in His faithfulness, praise and sing.
Then, as He beckons thee, doe the nexte thynge.

--Anonymous

In His Time.....

God will redeem everything.

And it will be beautiful again.

WTF

Sometimes you just feel like asking:

"What the f*** God?"

Currently my reasoning for this question are a lack of direction in my life (typical). Although it's not because there have been no opportunities, but it seems that they have all been getting shot down for one reason or another. Some are scheduling conflicts, but some are just unnecessary conflicts that are completely out of my control. And it makes me ask that question.

I'm not asking in an "I'm angry at God" or "I'm upset at God" but more like a bewildered wide eyed "what in the world just happened" kind of way. True, I'm a bit upset at God, probably a bit angry, I mean who doesn't get like that when things they want to see happen don't?

But I've learned far too many times that God's way is better, and that when doors open and close, its all because of him and not because of me. And I came back home clearly knowing that something was in store for me here and not back in New York. I am back clearly knowing and confident in God's plan, no questions asked.

And so I ask that question rhetorically, knowing that another closed door means more and more answers, more and more possibilities, and that with each dropped opportunity I'm getting a bit closer to the one God actually wants for me.

So while its frustrating to feel shut out and disappointed by lost opportunities, excitement builds knowing that sometime in the future God's going to bless me with some amazing opportunity.

And then I can go, "What the f*** God" because it will be that much more awesome. =)