Memories

Memories.

I read an article for one of my classes this year in which it talks about how we constantly turn back to our memories, to our past. It discusses the affect which the past has upon us, and that we are then shaped by the memories we have, and whether or not we can move forward from them or remain so intrenched in them that we cannot get out of them.

These past couple of months have been a trip down memory lane. In every way possible I have been afflicted through the meanings and the moments that have affected myself to the core of my being. The influences of people, the heartbreaks, the lows and the highs, and the peaceful existence of my soul so covered by the love of a Savior. Many of the memories are as vivid as yesterday afternoon, a song that repeats itself over and over.

Reflections.

Thinking about these memories lead to reflections of where I've been and how far I've come. Specifically with my relationships, I look at how much I have learned, how hard the struggles have been, and how much redemption God puts into my life, and my heart. Forgiveness, reconciliation, and trust. Perhaps the biggest themes of the last months. Oh and peace. Peace beyond words, beyond wisdom and understanding. Not that there aren't moments when the sea does rise, but instead of swimming I'm floating on top, cruising along untouched by the tide.

I was looking at some pictures of a past memory today, and it made me smile. And I think its the first time I've been able to do that. That memory, which produced both good things and bad, made me smile. To know that I am also a memory, and a good one, was reassuring.

Pictures capture our memories so that we can relive them, but sometimes it makes it harder to leave them. But not today. Instead today it brought a smile, and a sense of hope. Hope in knowing that there was just as much good in that memory as bad. Hope in being thankful for a memory that changed my character. I was able to relive that memory, free from the connections of the hurt and pain. And I was even able to find joy in what will be the potential of many new memories, and many good times.

And while that current memory may not be my own, to know that it exists in the life of someone else brings me peace. To see such happiness, well it made me happy.

And really, memories come and fade. They hinder us and help us, break us down and build us up. But when the peace of God transcends the emotional connections of memories that bring us to tears, it creates smiles.

Sweet peace, new hope, heart full.