When I want to do good..........I just can't.

Sometimes it's hard to understand why hurt happens.

Why, in a world that is already torn apart and broken, do we choose to make it even harder than it needs to.
Why, in the moments where we could change things, in the moments we could actually lessen the potential for hurt, do we instead choose to continue on, leading us to hurt people we care about in the worst way possible.
Why, do honest answers seem to escape our lips, even though we know the truth will hurt less then the lie we continue to find ourselves in.

So many times, if we had just been upfront and truthful, would broken hearts have been spared, would the waterfall of tears been reduced to a simple stream.

And I understand that hurt of any degree probably feels the same to that person going through it. I'm not saying it would hurt less. But maybe the aftermath would be easier to heal if we could just be honest.

And I understand that it's hard to tell someone you've betrayed them, that you're going to hurt them, that you can't understand why you've acted the way you did, when you want to do what's right. It says in Romans 7, "For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me." meaning that our sinful nature is the reason why we do it, although it doesn't mean its right.

So while we want ultimately to do good, sin once again gets in the way, and THIS is the reason why God comes into the picture. Amidst our broken relationships, our imperfect lives, we try as hard as we can to make it better. We try telling the truth, we try being completely honest, we try to do good always. But its never good enough, because somehow its the sinful nature that continues to live and breathe in us, even when we think we've shoved it down to the deepest parts of the earth.

And then God comes in to make us whole, to overcome the sinful nature within us. He comes to defeat the "evil right there with me" in order that we may live a free life. He lets us DO the good we want because he provides strength to conquer our inner self and do what is right.

And this is why relationships without his presence fall apart, because there is no one to provide freedom so that both people can care and love each other equally.

If one person is stuck in the sinful nature while the other is free, it's like a person trying to free a prisoner. While the one person is free on the outside, they first have to break into the prison gates, past the electric fences and guards. Once inside they still have to sneak past more guards, and find the cell where the other person is being kept. After that there are thick metal doors to get through, along with the prison bars. Even after that, if the person happens to be freed, there's still the psychological and even physical barriers that need to be broken down before that person can even completely enjoy their freedom.

And that is why it's so hard to have relationships without God, because ultimately a normal person can't break that easily into prison.

Only God can.